Counting Stars

You know it’s bad when you’re awake at 12:30 am wondering when life is finally going to fall into place.

And yes, I understand life is what I make it, but sometimes I really wish life would just hang a giant, flashing, neon sign with an arrow pointing on it telling me which door I need to walk through.

It’s been rough, people have asked me more times than I can count when I am going to grow up, or how on earth I am going to succeed on my path, or when I’m going to settle down, get married, have kids.

I think the most important question that no one asks anymore is, “are you happy?”

Yes, I am happy. The people I have in my life are uplifting, they are people I can rely on, people I care about, people that enrich my soul. I one told someone that I only put time into people that are important to me. I know that sounds really harsh, but if I can’t see how a person is a keystone to the person I want to be, I am not going to make the effort to stay in touch. I am happy with my job. Yes, I may be absolutely miserable when I don’t get the part that I want, or the callback I knew I had in the bag, but every audition I attend, I learn more about my craft.

So you know, maybe I’m not on TV or walking a red carpet yet, but I know that with hard work and perseverance, I will be. If you reach for the moon, you might end up among the stars.

As for the husband, family, kids, all of that is out of my hands. I will be completely honest and say that at 24 I feel like I’m losing time to have kids, but I have faith that God would not have given me a nurturing heart and never allow me to have a home, a husband, children of my own.
A lot of people tell me that I should worry about my career more, but I don’t want to be one of those people who worries about whether they are wanted because of their fame or because of the person that they are inside. I want to date someone who was my friend before they became something more. Relationships, romantic or not, are important in this business, and I do not enter into them lightly.

I always thought blogging was for the witty, the intelligent, the people who say what others want to hear, but I can’t do that. I have made a pact to be raw and open on here, and whether one or one hundred people read this, it matters not because I say what I feel and maybe somewhere someone is reading this and thinking, ‘yeah! I totally get what she feels, I’m not alone.” And if I make one person feel not alone in this great, wide world, then I have done my job.


Daily Prompt: Ballerina Fireman Astronaut Movie Star | Reality

I’ve been singing in front of people since I was about three years old. I would put on performances, change lyrics to songs and sing them my own way. I always loved performing, still do. While my friends wanted to be vets, doctors, lawyers, and one air conditioner, I wanted to b a singer. I’d imagine myself standing on stage, singing my little heart out, fans singing and dancing along. I imagined moving people with my music, someone telling my that a song saved their life, much like my own story when I became a teenager. I still haven’t gotten the chance to thank Darren Criss for that.

Where am I now? A college student that is a super, super senior, no degree to her name because I couldn’t settle on something. But then an amazing thing happened.

I went in for an audition with a talent group called Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ. I made it in, went through their program and just recently finished in their industry showcase called SHINE. While there, I received a talent-based scholarship to the New York Film Academy.

I’m a Musical Theatre & Film/TV Conservatory student about to move to New York.

So yeah, my dreams are starting to become reality. I have the drive, I’m honing my craft. So watch out, I might just be on your TV one day.Image

Daily Prompt